How to face your fears (and even embrace them)
Is fear keeping you from working towards a big goal or dream? Facing fears is scary, but it can also be exciting. Explore our 7 tips to face (and embrace) your fears.
There’s a reason videos of people skydiving, cave exploring, or even moving to a new city and starting over go viral on social media — and can even make it to national news. They show people doing something that seems impossible, that we are likely too scared to try ourselves.
You might be scared of speaking in public, afraid of heights, or so worried about making the wrong choices in life that you remain stagnant. Whatever your specific fear may be, just know that feeling afraid is a normal, human experience. Everyone has something that makes their heart race and their palms sweat, but fear doesn’t have to stop you moving forward.
We’re not saying it’s easy, but you can learn to face your fears, and eventually embrace them. When you take control of your life, one small step at a time, you may discover that your fears don’t actually run the show — you do.
So, what does it really mean to face your fears? Why is it worth doing? How do you start? Let’s explore — no skydiving required (unless you want to).
What does it mean to face your fears?
Fear is a normal emotional response that essentially protects us from danger or threats, which is great. But a lot of the time, fear will show up in situations that aren’t actually dangerous or threatening, like asking for a promotion or starting a conversation with someone new. The fear you feel can be so overwhelming that you want to avoid the situation entirely, which is not so great. And the avoidance only strengthens the fear over time by confirming that what you’re avoiding is worth being afraid of.
Facing your fears means confronting what scares you instead of letting it control your actions and acknowledging your fear while choosing not to let it hold you back. Of course, it may be easier said than done, especially if your fears are deeply-rooted and have been present in your life for many years.
You don’t have to jump into terrifying situations right away like jumping out of an airplane or singing the National Anthem at a local sporting event. Start small. By understanding your fears, approaching them mindfully, and celebrating every bit of progress, what once seemed impossible can start to feel within reach.
Although it may still feel uncomfortable, each time you confront your fear, it loses some of its power over you. Facing your fears doesn’t mean they disappear entirely — it means you build resilience and confidence to handle that fear. You might never fully love public speaking, flying, or whatever it is that scares you, but by facing it, you’ll prove to yourself that you can manage your fear and carry on with your life.
Why facing your fears can be life-changing
Overcoming fear is a personal victory that has the potential to improve your mental health, boost self-esteem, and open yourself up new opportunities.
Personal growth: Every time you face a fear, you’re giving yourself the chance to learn more about yourself, your limits, and how to push past them.
Reduced anxiety: When you confront fears, they often become smaller and less profound, because you take away the fear’s power.
Better decision-making: Fear can cloud judgment and lead to avoidance or rash decisions. Facing fears allows you to think more clearly and make choices based on your goals, not your anxieties.
Facing your fears vs. embracing your fears
There’s an important difference between facing your fears and embracing them. Both can be valuable approaches, but they work in slightly different ways.
Facing your fears is about taking action to confront what scares you. It’s when you make a conscious choice to deal with your fear and reduce the power it has over you. It’s a gradual process where you build your confidence and take control of the situation a little at a time.
When you embrace your fears, you start to see them as opportunities for growth rather than just obstacles. Instead of viewing fear as something negative, you acknowledge that it’s a sign you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. Embracing your fears doesn’t mean you stop feeling afraid — it means you accept the fear and see it as a challenge that will help you grow stronger.
Let’s say you’re afraid of public speaking. Facing that fear might mean gradually getting comfortable by speaking in front of small groups, speaking up in Zoom calls, or practicing your speech or presentation in front of a mirror. You’re confronting the fear of public speaking, but you’re doing it in a manageable way.
On the other hand, embracing the fear could mean recognizing that the nervousness you feel before speaking is a normal part of pushing yourself, and that it’s okay to feel that way. After a certain amount of time, you may start to find excitement in the challenge because you know it’s helping you grow.
How to identify and name your fears
Before you can face your fears, you need to know exactly what they are. Naming your fears helps you see them as problems that can be solved, which can make overcoming them feel less overwhelming.
Tune into your body: Fear often shows up physically. Notice when your heart races, your palms sweat, or your stomach feels tight.
Write them down: Naming your fears can make them feel more manageable. Make a note of what scares you, whether it’s something less common like flying, or something more everyday, like calling someone on the phone.
Notice your avoidance habits: Identify what you tend to avoid, like going to the dentist or social gatherings, to help recognize underlying fears influencing your life.
Ask why: Dig deeper by asking why this particular thing makes you nervous. Understanding the root of your fear can help you face it.
Be honest with yourself: Everyone has fears, even people who project being strong or brave. Acknowledge your fears, and know that this self-awareness also requires self-compassion and courage.
Don’t rush the process: It's normal for some fears to be buried deep and take time to surface. Begin with the fears that come to mind first, and others will emerge over time.
7 steps to start facing your fears mindfully
Once you’ve identified and named your fears, it’s time to start facing them with intention and self-compassion. Don’t force yourself to do something you find scary all at once. Take your time. And be kind to yourself along the way (here are 10 tips to cultivate self-kindness).
With time and patience, you’ll likely find that fears start to ease. Soon, you’ll feel stronger, more confident, and ready to take on whatever comes next.
1. Start small with a fear that feels manageable to overcome
Pick a fear that feels somewhat attainable in tackling, like one that challenges you but doesn’t completely overwhelm you. You want to set yourself up for success, so while you can and will conquer those big fears eventually, get your feet wet with a more manageable one to start. As you work through the steps to face this fear, you’ll gain some experience and resilience that helps you move on to bigger ones.
💙 Start small with Jay Shetty’s Softening Fear guided meditation.
2. Set goals that are attainable and realistic
Facing your fears isn’t about completely erasing them overnight. It’s about making steady progress over time. To keep yourself on track, start by setting small, achievable goals.
If your fear is social anxiety, maybe your first goal is to greet someone you don’t know. Your next goal might be to join a small group conversation. Breaking your fear down into tiny steps makes it less intimidating, and each small win can help build your confidence. (If social anxiety is a real struggle for you, here are eight ways to overcome it.)
💙 Stop being afraid of your goals with this pep talk from the Daily Jay’s The Fear Breakdown.
3. Use mindfulness techniques to help calm your anxiety
When faced with a fear, your body may often respond with a “fight-or-flight” reaction — your heart races, your breath gets shallow, and your thoughts might spiral. Mindfulness techniques can help you stay calm and grounded in those moments, so you can observe your fear without judgment and handle it with more ease.
Try breathing exercises when fear strikes by breathing in slowly for four counts, holding for four counts, and exhaling for four counts. Focus on your breath to quiet your mind and bring your attention back to the present. Here are seven more breathing exercises to test out.
You can also try body scans, too, where you notice areas of tension within your body and consciously relax them one by one.
💙 Try the Daily Move’s Facing Fears guided movement exercise to get your body, along with your mind, comfortable with believing in yourself.
4. Challenge negative thoughts to reclaim your power
You might catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this,” or “What if everything goes wrong?” These thoughts can make your fear feel even bigger than it really is. When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, ask yourself:
Is this thought really true?
Is there a more realistic or positive way to look at the situation?
Often, fears are based on worst-case scenarios that are unlikely to happen. By questioning these thoughts, you can take some of the power away from your fear.
💙 Spend a few minutes learning the importance of Reframing Difficult Thoughts with help from Chibs Okereke.
5. Visualize yourself overcoming your fears
Picture yourself successfully handling a situation that scares you. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, spend a few minutes each day imagining yourself standing confidently in front of a crowd, speaking clearly, and feeling calm. Imagine all the details — the room, the audience, and how you feel after you finish.
By visualizing success, you train your brain to expect a good outcome, which can help reduce anxiety when the real moment comes. Here are 8 exercises to add to your visualization practice.
💙 Embark on this Guided Visualization with Oren Jay Sofer to learn how to use visualization to your advantage.
6. Share your fears with a friend for more support
Sometimes just talking about your fears can help you overcome them, or at least take steps toward it. Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your worries to help them start to feel more manageable. Plus, having someone cheer you on or hold you accountable can give you that extra boost of confidence when you need it.
If you don’t have a tight knit in-person community, look for online communities and groups where people share their experiences with fear, anxiety, or phobias. Knowing that others are going through similar challenges and connecting with them can make you feel less alone.
💙 Discover the importance and impact of Kind Communication in your relationships with guidance from Tamara Levitt.
7. Be proud of the progress you’re making
Every time you take a step toward facing your fear, no matter how small, celebrate it. Speaking up in a meeting, going on a plane ride, or walking into a crowded room without panicking are all victories if they’re something you naturally struggle with, so acknowledge that progress and give yourself credit where it’s due.
Celebrating small wins helps you stay motivated and reminds you that you’re capable of handling your fears.
💙 Explore Facing Fears with Michelle Poler to overcome anxiety and self-doubt on your journey toward overcoming what you’re afraid of.
Face your fears FAQs
Why is it so hard to face your fears?
Facing your fears is tough because fear is a natural response aimed at protecting you from danger. When you feel afraid, your brain triggers a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. Your instinct tells you to avoid what scares you—whether it's a physical fear like heights, or an emotional fear like rejection—and this can make it seem impossible to confront your fears.
Unfortunately, the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes, making the fear feel larger over time. Breaking this cycle can be really tough — you’ll need to be compassionate and patient with yourself (these five exercises can help). But when you make consistent effort, each small step can help you realize that fear isn't as insurmountable as it seems.
What common fears do people struggle with?
Whatever your specific fear, you’re not alone. And no fear is too small or silly. If it makes you anxious or uncomfortable, it’s valid. What matters most is finding methods to manage it.
Heights
Flying
Spiders
Failure
Taking risks
Being judged
Illness or injury
How can mindfulness help in reducing fear and anxiety?
When fear strikes, it's easy for your mind to spiral into "what if" scenarios, where you imagine worst-case outcomes. Mindfulness can help reduce fear and anxiety by redirecting your focus to the present moment instead of things that haven't happened.
When you observe your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them, you can say, “I feel scared right now, but I don’t have to act on it.” This can help create space between the feeling of fear and your response, giving you more control.
Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or tuning into the sensations in your body can help calm the physical symptoms of fear, such as a racing heart or tense muscles. Use these techniques to activate your body’s relaxation response, which can make it easier to face fear with a clearer, calmer mind.
Is it better to face your fears or avoid them?
Avoidance may seem like the easiest solution, providing instant relief from anxiety or discomfort. But, it’s usually better to face your fears than avoid them, because avoidance can actually reinforce the fear and make it seem scarier.
When you face your fears, you gradually build confidence and resilience. You prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort and that the fear isn’t as threatening as it once seemed. Try these eight ways to build your resilience.
Facing fear can happen in small, manageable steps. Slowly expose yourself to what scares you, and allow your mind and body to adjust at your own pace. This can give you a sense of control and empowerment.
How does fear impact decision-making in daily life?
When you’re afraid, your brain focuses on avoiding discomfort or danger, which can cloud your judgment and impact your decision-making. You might make choices based on fear instead of what’s truly best for you.
For instance, fearing failure might lead you to avoid risks, even if they might lead to great opportunities. Similarly, fear of rejection may stop you asking for what you want in relationships or at work, keeping you stuck in unfulfilling situations.
Fear can also result in overthinking or procrastination. When you’re worried about making the wrong choice, you may hesitate or avoid decisions altogether, leaving you feeling trapped. Sometimes, fear can lead to impulsive decisions just to escape discomfort quickly, but these decisions may not align with your long-term goals.
Recognizing when fear influences your choices can help you make clear, more confident decisions based on your true desires and values — rather than just what feels safe.
What are some signs that fear is holding you back?
Fear can hold you back in both obvious and subtle ways. Fortunately, when you recognize these signs you can begin to challenge and overcome your fears.
Avoidance: Regularly steering clear of situations, tasks, or decisions because they make you uncomfortable or anxious is a sign. You might delay a conversation out of fear of how it’ll go, or turn down opportunities that feel too risky.
Feeling stuck: Not taking action on big goals or dreams may be caused by fear of failure, rejection, or even success. You might doubt your abilities or second-guess your choices.
Constant worry or overthinking: Often imagining worst-case scenarios or replaying fears in your mind may be a sign you’re held back by fear.
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