7 signs you might have an inferiority complex (and how to cope)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn what an inferiority complex is, including the common causes and signs you might have one. Plus, how mindfulness can help you cope with an inferiority complex.
Feeling like you’re not as good as others is the worst, and it can be tough to shake. Maybe you feel like you constantly get passed over for a promotion at work or left out of plans with friends. And even though you're an adult and years ahead of those times on the playground, it can still feel a lot like getting picked last for the dodgeball team in junior high. Remember that feeling?
An inferiority complex, or feeling less valuable than others, is something many people from all walks of life experience. It doesn’t matter if you’re a first-year teacher or the school principal, struggling with an inferiority complex is common. And it’s more intense than just having low self-esteem. It can make everyday life hard, affecting your relationships, work, and overall happiness — not to mention being exhausting and severely impacting your mood and confidence.
When you’re feeling inadequate or caught in the comparison trap, it’s important to remember that many people struggle with similar feelings. And even those you’re comparing yourself to may have an inferiority complex, even if that seems hard to believe.
What is an inferiority complex?
An inferiority complex is when you feel deep in your core that you’re not as good as other people. This feeling can come from real or imagined flaws and can make you feel self-conscious, like you’re behind in life. In extreme cases, it can even make you feel worthless.
You might think you're not as smart, attractive, or successful as other people around you, and these thoughts can become a pattern that affects how you see yourself and how you interact with the world. This can not only affect your confidence and self-belief, but also contribute to the unrealistic ideal that people are “better than” or “less than” others.
Feeling inadequate can make it hard to try new things or take risks, because you're afraid of failing or being judged. It can also affect your relationships, like experiencing anxious attachment or avoiding them altogether, as you might feel unworthy of love or respect.
What causes an inferiority complex?
There can be many reasons you might have developed an inferiority complex. Sometimes this may come from a childhood experience, like being teased for not wearing the latest trend, or it could come from years and years of comparing yourself to others who seemed “better” than you.
Early childhood experiences: Negative comments from parents, teachers, or friends during childhood can have a big impact on your self-esteem well into adulthood. Comments like you’re not cool because you’re in the band, or you’re a nerd because you’re in AP classes can really affect the way you see yourself. If you were often told you weren't good enough, smart enough, or capable enough, these messages can stick with you and shape how you see yourself.
Comparing yourself to others: It can be easy to look at others through social media, at school, or at work, and feel like you don't measure up. Seeing other people's successes or life milestones can make your own achievements seem less significant, even if they’re actually impressive and worth celebrating.
Societal pressure: Society often sets unrealistic or hard-to-reach standards for what it means to be successful, attractive, or happy. Maybe you feel like you need to be married, own a home, and have a baby on the way before you hit thirty-five. Feeling like you don't meet these expectations can contribute to an inferiority complex.
Trauma: Bullying, rejection, or failure can leave lasting scars and make you feel like you're not good enough. If you were treated poorly at school or in the home as a child, your trauma could be louder than your self-confidence.
Personal expectations: If you set extremely high standards for yourself and feel like you must be perfect, it can be hard to feel satisfied with your achievements. Whether it’s a number in your bank account, or number on a scale, if you’re holding yourself to impossible standards, you may end up feeling inadequate.
7 signs you might have an inferiority complex
Knowing the signs of an inferiority complex, like constantly comparing your accomplishments to your friend’s, can help you understand your feelings better and take steps to improve your self-esteem. Remember that many people you know have struggled with an inferiority complex at some point in their lives. It’s normal to feel inadequate from time to time, but it’s an excellent practice to always remind yourself of your worth — even if you may achieve goals at a different pace from your sibling, friend, or colleague.
1. Constant self-criticism: If you’re frequently putting yourself down or doubting your abilities and finding it hard to accept compliments, or always feeling like you could have done better, you may be struggling with an inferiority complex.
2. Avoiding challenges: Shying away from new opportunities like accepting the job promotion or moving somewhere new, because you're afraid of failing, or because you don't believe in your abilities is a sign you’re experiencing low self-esteem.
3. Seeking approval: Constantly needing others to reassure you that you're good enough, relying heavily on others' opinions to feel okay about yourself, or feeling anxious if you don't get the validation you seek can point toward feeling less than.
4. Overreacting to criticism: Feeling upset or defensive when someone criticizes you, even if it’s small, constructive feedback from a work colleague or partner, can indicate that you feel inferior to them.
5. Social withdrawal: Avoiding social situations because you feel you don't fit in or aren't good enough or feeling self-conscious around others is a clear sign that you don’t feel worthy of being in these people’s company.
6. Perfectionism: Striving for unrealistic standards to prove your worth, or feeling like you must be perfect in everything you do to feel valued or accepted, can make you feel less and less worthy over time and continue the cycle of feeling inferior.
7. Jealousy: Feeling envious, bitter, inadequate, or resentful of others’ achievements and believing you can’t achieve similar success is a sign to watch out for. Remember that everyone is on their own path and moves at their own pace. Just because your friend achieved a milestone before you (like buying a house) doesn’t mean you never will.
How to cope with an inferiority complex: 10 mindful tips and techniques
Everyone has value and worth, including you. Especially you! Coping with an inferiority complex involves changing how you think about yourself and finding ways to boost your confidence. From kinder self-talk to adopting a mindfulness practice, these everyday tips can help you begin to change the way you feel about yourself to build a stronger, more positive self-image.
1. Be your own cheerleader
When you feel like you’re just not good enough, remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished and all you’ll continue to accomplish. Be your own biggest fan and cheerleader — and speak to yourself in a kind way like you would to a friend when they’re feeling down. Remind yourself that you’re capable, intelligent, and worthy of all you desire.
💙 Check out our Radical Self-Compassion program with Tara Brach for guided help on cultivating a regular practice of compassion and empathy for yourself and your life.
2. Set smaller, achievable goals to increase self-confidence
Break big tasks into smaller, manageable steps to help you build your confidence as you achieve your goals. For example, if you want to meet new friends, first start by identifying the type of friends you’d like to meet. Are they outdoorsy? Into video games? Musicians? Then, take gradual steps to putting yourself in places where you can meet new people. Acknowledge these small achievements, no matter how minor they may seem, and over time, you'll start to see progress and feel more capable.
💙 Get specific on the goals you wish to set and the intention behind them with guidance from Jay Shetty’s The ‘Why’ Behind Your Goals.
3. Avoid comparing yourself to other people
Focus on your own progress rather than comparing yourself to others, and celebrate your personal achievements and growth as you’d celebrate that of your friends and loved ones. It doesn’t matter if your best friend since childhood is a doctor and you’re still unsure of what your dream job is. Everyone moves at their own pace, and everyone has their own story and journey.
💙 Take five minutes to Pause To Check In with yourself when you feel the comparison trap creeping into your mind.
4. Make time for mindfulness and meditation
Spend a few minutes each day in quiet reflection. Maybe it’s first thing in the morning with a cup of coffee, or at night before bed while doing your skincare routine. This can help calm your mind and make you more aware of negative thought patterns. Start with simple breathing exercises or guided meditations to help stop the spiral and focus on the present moment.
💙 Explore how to Overcome Negative Thinking as Chibs Okereke leads you through a kindness meditation.
5. Use positive affirmations to boost your self-image
Write down positive statements about yourself and repeat them daily, which can help shift your mindset. Place affirmations like "I am capable" or "I am worthy" where you can see them regularly, like on your mirror or computer screen.
💙 Learn tips for boosting your confidence and self-belief with our Confidence Series with Tamara Levitt.
6. Talk to someone who cares
Share your thoughts with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can provide comfort and perspective. Sometimes, just knowing you're not alone can make a big difference. Plus, you’re there for your friends and loved ones — let them be there for you.
💙 Explore prioritizing Deeper Communication with your loved ones during this session of the Daily Jay to help build emotional intimacy, trust, and community.
7. Go do the things you love
Boost your confidence and happiness with a hobby, sport, or creative pursuit that helps you feel more accomplished and satisfied. If you’ve been wanting to try rock climbing, go find a gym! If you have a book idea that’s been brewing in your mind, find a local coffee shop with good vibes, order a latte, and get to writing!
💙 Gain the confidence to dive into a world of new experiences, people, and activities when you practice Saying Yes to Life in this meditation with Tara Brach.
8. Focus on your strengths (we’ve all got ‘em!)
Everyone has unique talents and abilities. Make a list of things you're good at and remind yourself of these strengths regularly. This can help you feel more positive about yourself. A nice way to identify your strengths is to pay attention to what people come to you for. Do you always bring dessert to family get-togethers? Sounds like you’re a talented baker. Are you always giving your friends bomb advice? Perhaps you’re in tune with others’ emotions and are empathetic.
💙 Learn how to unapologetically celebrate your Achievements, no matter how small, with guidance from Tamara Levitt.
9. Flip the script on negative thoughts
When you catch yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself if they’re based on facts or if they’re just assumptions. Replace negative thoughts with more balanced, realistic ones to help improve your self-view.
💙 Stop the negative spiral of thoughts before they get out of control with this guided meditation to Slow the Swirl in Your Mind.
10. Take care of your physical health
If you’re feeling inadequate in your life, you might not be super motivated to exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep, but doing these things can greatly affect your mental health, mood, and energy levels. If you can, try to find ways to move that feel good to your body, or add just a few nutritious ingredients to your plate. Feeling better physically may make you feel better mentally, which can help make it easier to cope with negative feelings.
💙 Start your day with mindful movement, like The Daily Move’s Nurture Yourself guided practice.
Inferiority complex FAQs
What is the difference between low self-esteem and an inferiority complex?
Low self-esteem means not feeling good about yourself in general. You might sometimes doubt your abilities or feel unworthy, but these feelings can come and go.
But an inferiority complex is more severe and persistent. It’s a deep-seated belief that you’re fundamentally less valuable or capable than others. This can affect many areas of your life, making it hard to enjoy activities, form healthy relationships, or take on new challenges with confidence.
What are the symptoms of inferiority complex?
Common signs of an inferiority complex include constant self-criticism, avoiding challenges, and seeking approval from others.
You might also overreact to criticism and feel extremely hurt or defensive. You may avoid social situations because you feel you don’t belong or aren’t good enough, or even because you feel jealous of others’ achievements and believe you can’t achieve similar success.
Striving for unrealistic standards to prove your worth can bring perfectionism, another sign of an inferiority complex. If you struggle with this, take some time to learn how to stop being a perfectionist and enjoy being who you are (and being okay with it).
How do I overcome an inferiority complex?
There are several steps you can take to change how you view yourself and feel better overall.
Start by practicing self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes.
Set realistic goals and celebrate small achievements to build your confidence gradually.
Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on your own progress.
Use mindfulness meditation to help calm your mind and make you more aware of negative thought patterns.
Repeat positive affirmations to help shift your mindset over time.
Focus on your strengths to help you feel more positive about yourself.
Get support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor for comfort and perspective.
Do things you love to help boost your confidence.
Can I have both a superiority and inferiority complex?
Sometimes, people with an inferiority complex might act superior to hide their feelings of inadequacy. They may boast about their achievements or put others down to feel better about themselves.
This kind of behavior can be a defense mechanism to protect themselves from their deep feelings of inferiority.
Can social media contribute to developing an inferiority complex?
Social media might be related to developing feelings of inadequacy because it’s a space where people often share only the highlights of their lives.
This can create unrealistic standards of success, beauty, and happiness, as constantly comparing yourself to these curated images can make you feel inferior. Try to focus on your own journey and achievements rather than wishing you matched up to others online.
Always remember that what you see on social media may not be the full picture. Curate your feed to include realistic content and posts that inspire you, rather than make you feel inadequate. Take breaks from social media when you need to, like a social media detox, as this can help reduce these negative feelings.
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