What are the 8 types of love? Plus, how to express them

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Explore the eight different types of love and examples of each. Plus, how to express and nurture each type of love to improve your relationships and wellbeing.

Ah, love. We sing about it in our favorite songs, we go through the highs and lows of it in popular TV series, and if we’re lucky, love is all around us, too. Love is one of the most powerful emotions, inspiring poetry, feats of bravery, and immense self-sacrifices. But love isn’t always romantic or dramatic.

Often, it shows up quietly — in the deep trust you share when confiding in a dear friend, the affection you feel for a close family member, or the peace that comes from taking care of yourself.

In English, we use one word—“love”—to describe all these feelings. But did you know the ancient Greeks believed love was too complex and varied to be summed up by a single term? They categorized love into eight distinct types — and they can all show up in your life in many different ways.

Here are the eight types of love according to the ancient Greeks.

 

1. Eros — romantic love

This is the kind of love most people think of first — the romantic, passionate love that sparks excitement and desire. Eros can be thrilling and intense, especially in the early stages of a relationship when everything feels new. But this type of love can also evolve into something deeper, becoming a source of comfort and trust for many years.

Romantic love is important in relationships, but it needs care and attention to stay healthy. Without balance, eros can lead to unrealistic expectations or burn out quickly. So you’ll need to nurture both the physical side of love, but also the emotional bond, if you want to keep the passion alive and develop a stronger connection with your partner.

Examples of eros in daily life

Eros can be everything from the butterflies you feel when your partner sends you a sweet text to the closeness that comes from physical intimacy or the emotional connection after a weekend away. For long-term couples, eros might look like a spontaneous night out, or a great big hug after a long day.

How to express romantic love

  • Be affectionate: Hold hands, hug, or kiss. Physical touch can reinforce emotional closeness.

  • Spend quality time together: Make space for date nights, weekends away, or quiet evenings together. Sharing experiences can help you feel closer to your partner.

  • Talk openly: Be honest with each other about your desires, feelings, and needs. Being vulnerable helps deepen intimacy.

  • Show appreciation: Compliment your partner and remind them why you’re drawn to them. A little acknowledgment can go a long way in keeping romance alive.

  • Surprise each other: Leave a sweet note in their pant pockets or plan a fun outing that you know they’ll love to reignite feelings of passion and excitement.

2. Philia — deep friendship

Philia is the love that exists between friends. This type of bond is built on trust, respect, and shared experiences, and it feels steady and comforting. These are the people who have your back, celebrate your wins, and stand by you when things get tough. Philia isn’t the same as romance or physical attraction — it’s more like emotional closeness and companionship.

Friendship provides you with a sense of belonging and can make all of life’s ups and downs of life easier to manage. Unlike eros, which can be intense and fleeting, philia often grows stronger over time. The more you invest in your friendships, the deeper this type of love becomes, and the more enriched you both feel. Philia reminds us that friendships can offer just as much joy and fulfillment as romantic love. 

Examples of philia in daily life

Think about your closest friend — the person who knows you inside and out, who you call when you need advice, and who remembers little details about your life. How do you show you care about them? You probably meet up for dinners, check in periodically, and give each other pep talks when you need it. 

How to express philia

  • Be present: Stick by your friends consistently — just to check in or hang out. Your time and attention matter more than you realize. 

  • Listen actively: When your friends open up, give them your full attention. Sometimes, people just need to feel heard and understood.

  • Support them: Cheer them on when they’re crushing it at work and comfort them when they’ve gone on too many terrible dates in a row. A simple “I’m here for you” can mean a lot.

  • Show your gratitude: Let your friends know how much you care. A quick text or a thoughtful message can make them feel appreciated and bring you two closer together.

  • Make memories: Go on that trip together, see that play, or try out that new restaurant — the more time you spend together, the deeper your connection grows. If you need more inspiration, try these seven tips become a better friend. 

💙 Ready to support your friendships better? Listen to the Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship series by Kate Johnson.

 

3. Storge — family love

Storge is the love family shares — the relationships between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. This type of love feels familiar and steady and grows stronger over time.

Of course, no type of love is always (or ever) perfect, and family dynamics can be difficult at times. Still, storge is marked by a sense of loyalty, forgiveness, and a feeling of belonging. It’s why many people stay tied to their families, even during difficult times. Storge often feels unconditional — it’s there even when you’re bickering with your kid brother or you don’t see eye-to-eye with Uncle Jim’s political views.

This type of love shapes how we form connections later in life, teaching us about trust, empathy, and resilience. Even if family relationships change over the years, storge offers a sense of grounding and history that few other bonds can replicate.

Examples of storge in daily life

Storge shows up in those weekly Sunday dinners you’d never miss, or in the fun you had with cousins when you visited them for a week during the summer. And if you don’t live close to your family, it often pops up in group chats or video calls with your parents. 

How to express it

  • Show appreciation: Let your family know you care about them through small gestures like saying “thank you” or “I love you.”

  • Spend quality time together: Plan family dinners, virtual game nights, or monthly meetups that bring everyone together.

  • Be there when your family needs help: Help each other out with house moves, new babies, or everyday errands. Be supportive in tough times and listen mindfully to show you care. 

  • Forgive and move forward: Disagreements happen, but try to practice patience and forgiveness. These eight tips can help.

  • Celebrate traditions: Honor family traditions or create new ones as doing activities together helps maintain comfort and a sense of continuity, even when you grow up.

💙 Nurture the love you feel with your children with our Conscious Parenting series by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.

4. Ludus — playful love

Ludus is the playful side of love — the lightheartedness that makes relationships exciting and fun. It often appears in the early stages of romance, where there’s a lot of flirtation and maybe even some teasing — but also in friendships or even in the silly way we engage with children or pets.

Playful love helps keep relationships fresh and lively. It reminds us that while love can be intense, it can also be filled with laughter. Ludus may help to relieve stress, bring you closer, and create a sense of adventure into relationships, even during challenging times. It also encourages spontaneity, reminding you that love isn’t just about responsibility, it’s also about enjoyment.

Examples of ludus in daily life

Ludus shows up in these simple, carefree moments that make you smile or laugh. It’s the surprise text that makes you giggle, the inside jokes you share with an old friend, or the playful competition during a game night with your besties. It’s also the flirty teasing between you and your partner, or the lighthearted pranks you pull on your work wife

How to express it

  • Flirt regularly: Playful banter or teasing compliments can keep romance alive and remind your partner that you’re attracted to them.

  • Laugh together: Find opportunities to have a good belly laugh, like watching a funny movie or sending memes back and forth.

  • Be spontaneous: Surprise your loved ones with unexpected dates, like only telling them the time they need to be ready and nothing else. Not your style (but wish it was)? Here are seven tips to help you be more spontaneous

  • Play games: Enjoy friendly competition with video or board games — or if you’re looking for something more passive, watch a sporting event together.

  • Embrace inside jokes: Remember the little jokes that only you and the other person understand — they reinforce closeness and remind you of happy times.

 

5. Pragma — enduring love

Pragma is the kind of love that stands the test of time. It’s the steady, long-term love that develops between partners who’ve been together for years. Unlike the excitement of early romance, pragma grows through commitment and patience. It’s about choosing to stay connected and is built on mutual respect, understanding, and the willingness to compromise

Yes, there can be passion in pragma, but mostly it’s driven by a deep sense of trust and the effort to support each other over the long haul. It reflects the beauty of growing together and finding a sense of warmth and comfort in familiarity. Pragma reminds us that love isn’t just something you feel — it’s something you choose to nurture every day.

This type of love often involves navigating life’s ups and downs as a team — raising children, managing careers, or caring for aging parents. It feels stable and secure.

Examples of pragma in daily life

You can see pragma in the married couple still holding hands after 30 years together, or the partners who work through disagreements with patience and understanding. Pragma also shows up in small ways — like picking up a pastry for your partner in the morning without them having to ask.

How to express pragma

  • Practice patience: Long-term love requires understanding that not every day will be perfect. Be patient with each other, accept one another’s flaws, and zoom out to stay focused on the bigger picture during disagreements.

  • Show up consistently: Be reliable and supportive, even when your schedules are stretched thin, and you’re at your wits end with each other. Sometimes, simply being present is the most powerful way to express love.

  • Voice your gratitude: Acknowledge the little things your partner does. Even just making a point to say “thank you” regularly can help both of you feel appreciated.

  • Keep learning about each other: Even after years together, you can still find new ways to connect. Ask questions, try new activities together, and stay curious about your partner. After all, we all change as we grow older.

  • Create shared goals: Plan for the future together — maybe saving for a vacation you’ve always wanted to take or renovating your home to suit your tastes more. Working towards common goals can help keep your relationship strong. These are 11 relationship goals to help you build a healthy partnership. 

6. Philautia — self-love

Philautia is the love you have for yourself — the kind that helps you recognize your worth, take care of your mental and physical health, and show yourself kindness and compassion. You need it to build confidence, set healthy boundaries, and have a healthy sense of wellbeing. (Struggling with your confidence? Check out these 13 tips.)

Cultivating self-love isn’t always easy, especially if you’ve been hard on yourself in the past. But with small, consistent, and intentional practices you can build a more positive and supportive relationship with yourself. This creates a stronger foundation for emotional resilience and sets you up for a more fulfilling life

Plus, when you take care of yourself, you naturally bring more love and positivity to your relationships and the world around you.

Examples of philautia in daily life

Self-love can take many forms, and it grows when you treat yourself with the same kindness and patience you’d offer a close friend. It can be as simple as skipping a boozy brunch and instead, going for a hike with your sister because you know it’s better for you in that moment — or even standing up for yourself in a situation where you feel undervalued at work. 

How to express it

  • Speak kindly to yourself: Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Replace harsh self-criticism with gentle, encouraging words. Check out our 10 uplifting affirmations.

  • Prioritize rest and relaxation: Rest is just as important as productivity, so read up on the seven types that help you feel renewed. It’s okay to take breaks and recharge. 

  • Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain you and yes to activities that energize you.

  • Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your progress, no matter how minor it feels. When you take note of your efforts, you can become more confident.

Invest in your wellbeing: Do things that make you feel good — whether it’s spending time working out, journaling, or hanging out with your favorites.

 

7. Agape — unconditional love

Agape is the highest, most selfless form of love. It’s the love you extend to others without expecting anything in return — the kind of love that’s rooted in empathy and kindness. This is what motivates us to help others, even complete strangers.

This love reflects the belief that everyone deserves kindness and respect, regardless of who they are, and by expressing unconditional love regularly, you contribute to a more connected, compassionate world. 

Often, you find that giving love in this way brings joy and fulfillment.

Examples of agape in daily life

Agape love isn’t just in grand gestures or big commitments, like going away for a year to volunteer. It can also be seen in small, everyday moments, like giving a pep talk to a friend who’s going through a difficult time, holding the door for a stranger, or spending the time at your local pet shelter. 

How to express agape

  • Practice empathy: Try to understand and validate others’ feelings, even if you have a different view on life. 

  • Show kindness daily: Compliment a stranger on their outfit, bring your coworkers coffee just because, or help your neighbor with yard work.

  • Volunteer your time: Support causes you care about or partner with organizations that help others.

  • Offer forgiveness: Let go of grudges and show compassion toward those who have wronged you. Here are eight ways to practice forgiveness.

  • Be patient and open-hearted: Sometimes, people need time, space, or understanding to feel supported. Standing by them without expecting anything in return is an act of unconditional love. 

💙 Extend your love outwards to the world with Tamara Levitt’s Loving-Kindness meditation series.

8. Mania – obsessive love

Mania is an intense and sometimes overwhelming form of love. It can feel all-consuming, and you might recognize it in jealousy, possessiveness, or the desire to be constantly close to someone. This type of love can stem from insecurity or the fear of losing someone, which can make it difficult to trust or let go. It’s often driven by the need for reassurance and connection too. 

Mania isn’t always negative, but without balance, it can lead to unhealthy patterns in relationships and emotional highs and lows that are exhausting for both partners. While the desire for closeness is natural, mania can sometimes cause people to lose sight of personal boundaries and independence.

But just because you might experience mania in the beginning of a relationship, doesn’t mean it will always be there. Mania can be transformed into a healthier form of love with self-awareness and open communication. And if you start feeling mania come up in your relationship, addressing the underlying fears or your insecurities can help you nurture a more stable, trusting relationship. 

What does mania look like?

Feeling anxious when your partner doesn’t text back right away or constantly worrying about their loyalty, even if there’s no real reason to doubt them, can be mania. It can also look like becoming overly dependent on someone for happiness or feeling the need to “prove” your love through excessive attention. In friendships, it might show up as jealousy when your friend spends time with others.

How to express mania healthily

  • Communicate openly: Share your feelings and fears with your partner or friend in a calm, honest way, because transparency builds trust. If you struggle with communicating, these seven tips can help

  • Focus on self-growth: Develop your own interests outside of the relationship. Keeping your own hobbies and independence strengthens love.

  • Set boundaries: Respect personal space and allow the other person time to pursue their own goals and friendships. 

  • Practice self-soothing: When feelings of jealousy or insecurity arise, remind yourself that love doesn’t have to mean constant closeness. Make time for activities that calm and ground you.

  • Build trust gradually: Trust grows with time and consistency, so just be intentional with your efforts to start feeling more secure in your relationships.  

 

Types of love FAQs

What is the difference between Eros and Agape love?

Eros is romantic and passionate, driven by desire and intimacy, while agape is selfless and unconditional — it brings compassion and empathy. Eros often focuses on personal connection with one person, whereas agape extends to humanity, showing love without expecting anything in return. 

Both are important, and healthy relationships often blend eros’ passion with agape’s unconditional care, creating a love that’s both intimate and selfless.

How can I cultivate self-love if I struggle with self-esteem?

It’s not always easy to be loving towards yourself, but it is possible with a bit of effort. Try to:

  • Practice self-kindness (try these 10 tips) and challenge negative thoughts. 

  • Focus on small acts of self-care, celebrate your strengths, and surround yourself with people who make you feel good. 

  • Set healthy boundaries and spend time doing activities that make you happy and relaxed.

  • If you need to, seek therapy or counseling to build self-esteem. 

  • Accept yourself as you are and let yourself grow at your own pace.

Are some types of love more important than others?

No type of love is more important than another — each plays an important role in our emotional wellbeing. 

Romantic love may bring excitement, but friendships, family bonds, and self-love provide stability, comfort, and confidence. 

Together, these forms of love create a balanced and fulfilled life, so nurture them all to develop richer, deeper connections with yourself and others.

How does mindfulness improve romantic relationships?

Mindfulness can help you stay present in your romantic relationships, which can improve communication and lead to deeper emotional intimacy. It also allows you to fully appreciate your partner’s small gestures and those special moments of closeness. These are seven ways you can practice gratitude daily to have its effects ripple into all areas of your life. 

What are common challenges in expressing different types of love?

Expressing love can be challenging. We might feel afraid of being vulnerable or have personal insecurities. We also may struggle communicating how we feel. And in romantic and family relationships, unspoken expectations or past conflicts may create distance. Friendships can fade if we don’t make time for them or put in the effort, and if we start to beat ourselves up, self-love can be hard to maintain with negative self-talk.

You can overcome these challenges by talking as openly as you can with your loved ones, practicing patience, and being gentle with yourself and others. Little by little, you can begin to show love in ways that feel authentic to you.


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