“What are my values?” 5 tips to help you find what matters most
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
We all know values are important, but that doesn't mean we always know what ours are. Explore 5 tips to help you finally answer the question "What are my values?"
Most of us crave having a clear sense of direction and feeling as though we’re living a purposeful life. And so often, it all comes down to your values.
Values act like your personal GPS, silently pointing you toward the experience and path that truly matter most to you and helping you avoid the ones that don’t. But getting to know your values isn’t always easy. Sometimes, life gets noisy, and those core principles can get buried under day-to-day stress and societal or familial expectations.
Maybe you’re facing a big decision, like choosing a career path or where to live, and you’re feeling stuck and unsure of which path feels right. Or perhaps you’ve been reflecting on your life lately, feeling like something’s missing, but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. Sound familiar?
The good news is that your values are already within you, waiting to be uncovered. By getting clear on what they are, you can better reconnect with yourself, make mindful choices that feel right and aligned with you, and find more fulfillment in every part of your life.
This is your roadmap to living a life that feels authentic, meaningful, and 100% you. Let’s take the first step.
What are values?
At their core, values are the principles or ideals that guide how you live your life. Think of them like your internal GPS, guiding your actions, decisions, and relationships, and helping you discover what’s meaningful to you.
Your values answer three big questions: What do I stand for? What makes me feel fulfilled? What truly matters?
Unlike goals (which are specific outcomes you want to achieve) values are more like the foundation of your life. They’re often unchanging, and influence everything from how you spend your time to how you treat others. If kindness is one of your core values, you might find yourself prioritizing empathy in your relationships or volunteering to help those in need, as both empathy and giving back are rooted in the value of kindness.
Values are deeply personal, and no two people will have the exact same set. They’re shaped by your upbringing, culture, experiences, and even the challenges you’ve faced. Some values might come from your family—like loyalty or hard work—while others emerge as you grow and define your own identity.
The best part? There’s no right or wrong when it comes to values. They’re unique to you, and discovering them is less about figuring out what you should value and more about tuning into what feels authentic.
Why are personal values important?
Say you’re standing at a crossroads trying to decide which path to take. Without a clear sense of what matters most to you, every option may feel equally uncertain, and decision-making can become overwhelming. That’s where your values step in. Here’s why understanding your values matters:
They simplify decisions: Knowing your values helps you focus on what feels like the best fit with them, and filtering out all the rest.
They give direction: Like a north star, values keep you grounded and purposeful, even when life feels crazy or out of control.
They boost confidence: Living true to your values helps to build self-assurance and esteem.
They strengthen resilience: Values can act like a compass during tough times, helping you to keep moving forward in the right direction.
They enrich relationships: Understanding your values and other people’s values helps create deeper, more meaningful connections.
They enhance happiness: Aligning your life with your values brings fulfillment beyond external achievements.
5 types of values (with examples)
There are many different forms that your values can take, but they often fall into distinct categories. Take a look through these categories to help you understand the range of values people hold and identify which ones resonate most with you.
1. Moral values
These are your internal guidelines for what “right” and “wrong” mean to you. Moral values often serve as a foundation for fairness, justice, and kindness in our societies because they influence how we treat others.
Examples:
Integrity: Staying true to your word, even when it’s hard
Honesty: Being truthful in your interactions and choices
Respect: Valuing others’ feelings, perspectives, and boundaries
2. Social values
Social values are about how you connect with others in your relationships and communities. They guide how you behave with family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers on a daily basis.
Examples:
Connection: Prioritizing deep and meaningful relationships
Community: Valuing your role in the larger social fabric
Compassion: Offering empathy and care to those around you
3. Achievement values
These values drive your sense of ambition, growth, and accomplishment. Because of this, they play a significant role in your career, education, and personal goals.
Examples:
Ambition: Striving for success and pushing your limits
Growth: Continuously learning and working to improve yourself
Excellence: Taking pride in doing your best, no matter what your doing
4. Aesthetic values
Aesthetic values shape how you appreciate beauty, creativity, and artistry in the world. These could show up in your love for nature, design, or even self-expression (like with tattoos, piercings, or hair color).
Examples:
Creativity: Embracing new ideas and thinking a little outside the box
Beauty: Finding joy in art, nature, or just the small details of your everyday life
Harmony: Striving for balance and peace in your surroundings
5. Lifestyle values
These reflect how you want to live your day-to-day life. They influence your priorities when it comes to your health, finding balance, and what personal fulfillment means to you.
Examples:
Health: Making a point to prioritize physical and mental wellbeing
Freedom: Valuing flexibility and the ability to make your own choices
Balance: Seeking harmony between work, relationships, and self-care
Understanding these categories can help you pinpoint the values that are most important to you. If you’re feeling unfulfilled at work, it might be because the environment conflicts with your moral values or doesn’t align with your achievement values.
Keep in mind that your values may overlap across categories, and that’s normal. When you look at kindness, it could be both a moral and social value for you. By exploring these types, you’re getting one step closer to defining your unique value system and living in alignment with it.
How to find your values: 5 ways to get clear on what matters
If you’re still feeling unsure about how to figure out your values, don’t worry. Here are five practical methods to uncover what matters most to you.
1. Reflect on moments in your life that made an impact
Take a minute to think about the times in your life when you felt the most alive, fulfilled, or proud. These are often moments when you’re deeply connected to your values. (Try these 20 tips to help guide you through self-reflection.)
Ask yourself: What was happening during those moments? Who were you with, and what were you doing? What feelings did the experience bring up for you?
💙 Check out True Reflections with Jay Shetty for some guidance on how to begin to see yourself (and what you value) more clearly.
2. Think about people you admire or look up to
The people you admire often reflect the qualities you value most. They don’t have to be celebrities either. They could be family members, friends, mentors, or even fictional characters.
Ask yourself: Who do I look up to and why? What values or traits do they embody? How can I apply those values in my own life?
3. Pay attention to your emotional reactions
Strong emotions (both positive and negative) are often tied to your values. When something makes you angry or upset, it might signal that a core value is being violated or triggered. Similarly, moments of joy or gratitude often align with values being honored and recognized.
Ask yourself: What situations make me feel angry or frustrated? What situations make me feel happy or inspired?
💙 Try our Labeling Emotions guided meditation to help you identify your emotions.
4. Sort your values from most important to least
A values sort exercise is a hands-on way to clarify what’s important to you. It involves listing common values and ranking them in order of priority. This exercise helps you identify not just what you value, but what you value most.
Try this:
Write down 20–30 values. You can find lists online or create your own.
Group them into categories: Essential, important, and nice to have.
Narrow it down to your top five values — the ones you absolutely couldn’t live without.
5. Try the “what if” test to gauge the importance of your values
This technique can reveal how much certain values mean to you by imagining life without them. If the idea of living without a certain value feels uncomfortable or even unimaginable, it’s a strong indication that it’s one of your core values.
Ask yourself: What if I couldn’t express my creativity? What if I wasn’t able to connect with others? What if I couldn’t pursue growth or adventure?
A gentle reminder
Values aren’t set in stone. They can (and should) evolve as you grow and your life changes. What matters most to you today might shift in five or ten years, and that’s okay. The key is to regularly check in with yourself (here’s how), reflect on your experiences, and refine your understanding of what drives you.
Once you’ve identified your values, the next step is learning how to integrate them into your daily life. Living in alignment with your values is the secret sauce to a more meaningful, authentic, and joyful existence. And who doesn’t want that?
What are my values FAQs
Why is having values important?
When you know what you stand for, it’s easier to make decisions that feel right for you. Without clear values, it’s easy to drift, feeling unanchored or swayed by external influences. When faced with a challenging choice—such as whether to take a demanding new job—your values can serve as a compass. If family and work-life balance are important to you, you might decide the job isn’t worth the sacrifices.
Beyond decision-making, values also contribute to your sense of self. They remind you of what’s meaningful, which can reduce stress, boost confidence, and give you a clearer sense of purpose.
How can I identify my beliefs and values?
Start by thinking about the moments in your life when you felt happiest, most fulfilled, or proud. What was happening during those times? Chances are, those moments are aligned with your core values. You can also examine your emotional reactions — what makes you angry, joyful, or inspired?
These feelings often point to the beliefs and principles you hold most dear. Another useful strategy is to think about role models or heroes. What do you admire about them? Their traits may reflect values you resonate with. Journaling or doing a values-sorting exercise can also help clarify what matters most to you.
What are 5 basic values?
While everyone’s values are unique, some foundational values resonate with many people across cultures and backgrounds. Five basic values might include:
Honesty: The importance of truthfulness and transparency
Kindness: Showing compassion and empathy to others
Respect: Valuing others’ opinions and boundaries
Responsibility: Being accountable for your actions and following through on your commitments
Gratitude: Appreciating what you have and expressing thanks for the good in your life
What are some examples of personal values?
Personal values can vary widely, because we all have a unique set of experiences and priorities. Here are a few examples to spark your thinking:
Adventure: Embracing new experiences and taking on new challenges
Family: Prioritizing close relationships with your loved ones
Freedom: Valuing independence and the ability to make your own choices
Growth: Seeking to always be learning and growing
Creativity: Expressing yourself in your work or hobbies
Equality: Advocating for fairness and justice for all
How can I build on my values?
Once you’ve identified your values, the next step is aligning your actions and choices with them. Start by reflecting on how your daily life supports or conflicts with your values. If health is important to you but you’re neglecting self-care, you might set a goal to prioritize exercise or better sleep. Building on your values also means celebrating them.
Take pride in the ways you’re already living in alignment with what matters to you. Over time, you can deepen your connection to your values by exploring new ways to express them. If community is a core value, you might get involved in local volunteer work or start a group that brings people together.
Small, consistent steps help you live a life that reflects who you are at your core.
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