What to say when someone loses a pet
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Not sure what to say when someone loses a pet? Learn 12 examples of things to say, and not say, to comfort and support someone's feelings while grieving a pet.
For so many of us, our pets are important members of the family, bringing so much joy and providing a boost to our mental health. In what feels like an instant, our pets become our best friends, constant companions, and the little lives we build our daily routines around. They make us laugh, comfort us when we’re sad, and provide us with unconditional love.
So, when a pet dies, the grief that comes with it can be intense. The loss is not only devastating, but life-altering. If someone looked forward to walking their dog every morning, or cuddling their cat every evening, their daily routine is completely upended after the pet passes.
If someone you love is grieving the death of a pet, it’s important to support them like you would through any other loss. If you’ve never had pets, it can be difficult to relate, but your support will mean the world to them. While finding the right words might be difficult, showing compassion and empathy is one of the best ways to be there for them and show that you care.
7 examples of things to say when someone loses a pet
Experiencing the death of a pet can trigger a range of emotions in someone, including sadness, loneliness, guilt, and even anger. This swirl of emotions can make it feel challenging to find the right words to share. But during times of grief and loss, it’s important to remember that people who are grieving need your heart and not your intellect. You can’t explain the pain away, but you can hold space for them emotionally while they grieve. Sometimes simply being there is enough.
To comfort someone while they’re grieving their pet, try offering genuine, heartfelt words of support.
1. "I’m so sorry for your loss. They were a wonderful companion."
Express your condolences, first and foremost. Next, recognize the pet’s importance to the person who’s grieving to help them feel understood and supported. Mentioning the pet by name makes your message more personal and sincere, so if you know it, say it! If you don’t, it’s okay to ask.
2. "I know how much they meant to you. I’m here if you need to talk."
Acknowledge the deep bond they shared with their pet to show you recognize the significance of their loss. Offer to listen if they need to talk, and encourage them to share their feelings whenever they’re ready.
3. "Your bond with them was so special. They’ll be deeply missed."
Recognize the special connection they had with their pet. This validates their grief and reinforces that it’s okay to feel deeply sad.
4. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I'm here for you."
Express empathy and acknowledge the difficulty of their situation to show you care. Reassure them that you’re there to help them feel less alone during this tough time.
5. "Losing such an important part of the family is never easy. It's okay to grieve. Take your time."
Validate your friend’s grief. Remind them that it’s natural to mourn deeply and for as long as they need.
6. "If there's anything you need or want to talk about, I'm here to support you."
Offer practical and emotional support to show your willingness to help. Whether it’s running an errand or just being a shoulder to cry on, knowing they have someone to rely on can be reassuring and comforting.
7. "What was your favorite memory of them? I’d love to hear about it."
Ask them to share positive memories of their life with their pet. Reminiscing is a comforting way to memorialize their pet and relive the moments they shared.
What not to say when someone loses a pet
Finding the right words during emotional times can be difficult. If you find yourself struggling with what to say, there’s nothing wrong with telling the person that you don’t know what to say, but you are there for them. Letting them know that you are happy to listen and support without judgment is sometimes all they need.
Sometimes well-intentioned comments can feel hurtful or dismissive, so avoid these phrases to ensure you’re showing up for your friend in a helpful, supportive way.
"At least it was just a pet and not a person."
This comment minimizes grief. Pets can be as valuable—if not more—as human family members for some people, and their loss can be just as devastating.
Instead, acknowledge the depth of their loss by saying, "I know how much they meant to you."
"You can always get another pet."
Suggesting that they can replace their pet overlooks the special bond they had with the pet that died. Each pet has a unique personality and place in their owner’s heart.
A better approach can be to offer support by saying, "No other pet could ever replace them, but I hope you find comfort in your memories and the time you shared together.”
"It was just their time to go."
This phrase can feel dismissive. It may also discourage the person from expressing their grief, as it makes it seem as though the loss was happenstance or simply bound to happen at that time.
Instead, try saying, "I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose such an important member of your family."
"Aren't you over it yet? It’s been a while."
Grief doesn’t have a set timeline, and everyone processes loss differently. This comment can make the person feel pressured to move on before they’re ready, which is unkind and doesn’t help them overcome their grief journey any easier.
Validate their feelings and show empathy by saying, "Grieving takes time, and I’m here for you whenever you need support."
"I never understood why people get so attached to pets."
This can make the grieving person feel misunderstood, isolated, and silly for missing their pet so deeply.
Instead, respect their feelings and the bond they had with their pet by saying, "I can see how much they meant to you. I’m here for you."
6 ways to support someone grieving a pet
Properly supporting someone who’s grieving the loss of a pet can make a big difference in their healing process. And remember that if you have trouble finding the right words, it’s always okay to just be there for them.
1. Be present
Simply being there for your friend can provide great comfort. Sit with them, share a quiet moment, or spend time together doing something they enjoy. This can help reassure your loved one that they aren’t alone during this difficult time.
💙 Learn how to Be Here, Be Present with support from Jay Shetty.
2. Listen without judgment
Grieving pet owners need a safe space to talk about their emotions, whether it’s sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion. Listen without interruptions — just knowing someone is willing to listen can be incredibly comforting.
💙 Practice Mindful Listening when your friend shares how they’re feeling with support from this meditation with Tamara Levitt.
3. Acknowledge their loss
Recognize the significance of their loss and validate their feelings to help them feel understood and respected.
💙 Tune into the Calm Conversations on Grief as Dan Devy and Mel Mah open up about the complexities of navigating loss.
4. Offer help with daily tasks
Grief can make everyday tasks overwhelming. Offer to help with chores, errands, or meals. Simple acts of kindness, like cooking a meal or running an errand, can lighten their load while they focus on their emotional healing.
5. Give them space
Some people may need quiet time to process their emotions and reflect on their memories with their pet. Let them know you’re available whenever they need you, but don’t pressure them to socialize or talk if they’re not ready.
6. Check in regularly
Follow up to see how they're doing. Grief doesn’t have a set timeline, and the pain of losing a pet can resurface unexpectedly. Regular check-ins can show you will continue to care and support them, even after the initial period of loss passes.
💙 Be the friend you want to have and cultivate Mindful Friendships by asking your friends how they’re doing regularly.
What to say when someone loses a pet FAQs
How long does it take to grieve the loss of a pet?
Grieving the loss of a pet is a deeply personal process, and the time it takes can vary greatly. For some, the initial intense grief may begin to ease after a few weeks or months. For others, the sadness may persist for longer, especially if the pet played a central role in their daily life. Encourage those who are grieving to seek support from friends, family, or professionals if they need it.
What are some ways to memorialize a beloved pet?
There are many meaningful ways to remember and honor a beloved pet.
Create a scrapbook or photo album: Collect pictures, mementos, and written memories to create a tribute to the pet who passed.
Plant a tree or garden: Grow something in honor of your pet so their memory lives on for years to come.
Hold a memorial service: To provide closure, invite friends and family to share memories and say a special goodbye to your pet.
Keep a special item: Set aside your pet’s collar, favorite toy, or blanket.
Commission a piece of art: Commemorate your pet with a portrait or jewelry.
Donate or volunteer: Give to an animal shelter or rescue organization in your pet’s name, or volunteer your time to help other animals in need.
How can I help my child deal with the loss of a pet?
To help a child cope with the loss of a pet, be honest, provide support, and allow them to express their emotions.
Be honest and clear: Use simple, age-appropriate language to explain that their pet has died and won’t be coming back. Avoid euphemisms, like “passed away” or “passed on” that might confuse them.
Encourage expression: Let your child share their feelings and memories. Draw pictures, write stories, or create a memorial to help them process their grief.
Reassure them: Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Reassure them that their feelings are natural and valid.
Maintain routines: Keep a regular schedule to provide stability and security during a time of loss.
Read books about pet loss: Look for children’s books that deal with the topic of losing a pet. Reading together can help your child feel understood and less alone in their grief.
Are there support groups for people who have lost pets?
Many communities and online platforms offer support groups for pet loss. These groups provide a space where people can share their experiences, feelings, and memories with others who understand the depth of losing a pet.
Local animal shelters or veterinary clinics: Many offer grief counseling or information on support groups.
Online forums and social media: Groups dedicated to pet loss support can help you grieve.
Pet loss hotlines: Some organizations offer phone support to help you cope with the loss of a pet.
Therapists and counselors: Many professionals specialize in grief counseling and can provide one-on-one support.
What are some signs that someone might need professional help to cope with pet loss?
While grief is a natural response to losing a pet, there are times when professional help is necessary. Grief counselors can provide tools and support to help navigate loss in a healthy way.
Prolonged depression: A professional can help with deep sadness that doesn’t seem to lessen over time.
Inability to function: If you’re struggling to perform daily tasks, go to work, or engage in social activities, you may need additional support.
Withdrawal: Isolating yourself from friends and family is a sign that you may want to consider meeting with a therapist.
Changes in daily habits: If you’re eating or sleeping significantly more or less, you may be struggling more than you realize.
Intense feelings of guilt or blame: Being unable to move past feelings of guilt or blaming themselves for their pet’s death is an indication that it’s time to seek professional help.
Persistent thoughts of death or self-harm: Self-harm or thoughts of suicide should be addressed immediately. If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 for immediate and confidential support, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
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